Mark Watson Interview

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INTERVIEW WITH MARK WATSON

 

“It is difficult for me to bond with an Alpha male like Marco who regards me, I think, as a bit of a worm. Someone who can’t cook and has just blundered into his kitchen.  Which is about right, really.”

 

Comedian Mark Watson, 30, has far more on his plate than anyone else in Marco’s kitchen. During filming, his wife Emily was on the brink of giving birth to their first child.

 

“While I’m chopping onions in front of the cameras, I keep thinking that my wife could be going into labour. So if you see me running off down the street chased by the cameras, you’ll know what’s happened!

 

“You might think that being in a kitchen would be a nice release from the tension of impending fatherhood. But actually I have just substituted one set of worries for another!”

 

Living off a diet of pasta, Mars bars, and Cuppa Soup when he studied at Cambridge, Mark is the first to admit he has spent most of his life avoiding cooking.

 

“I accepted this challenge because I wanted to learn the basics of a kitchen environment under the tutorage of a famous chef. But there is a chance it could permanently destroy my confidence. So it’s all a bit of a gamble.

 

“For me this is far more frightening than facing the most aggressive crowd doing stand up.  I would much rather go on and do a live stand up on TV in front of any number of people than try and cook a tuna steak.”

 

He’s also not sure what to make of the great man himself.

 

“It’s difficult for me to bond with him. He is a bit of an Alpha male who regards me, I think, as a bit of a worm really. Someone who can’t cook and has just blundered into his kitchen, which is about right. He looks at me with what appears to be contempt!

 

“He has this peculiar semi-mystical way of talking and presents himself quite convincingly as a sort of sage. I find him slightly an intimidating presence. I like to think that if he shouted at me, I’d put up a fight.

 

“But I can’t imagine I would really, because in a kitchen you’re already vulnerable, hot and flustered, and spilling stuff, so I think I’d be quite crushed.”

 

One of his strategies to win points from Marco is to make him laugh.

 

“I have already tried to use humour. And to be fair, it worked. Not always intentionally. The other day I spilled about a thousands peppercorns on the floor which he found amusing.

 

“My fear is that my diners will be asking why they haven’t been served. And I don’t think Marco will find that funny. If it’s just me looking stupid, I can handle that. You should never be a comedian if you can’t. But being hopelessly behind, and hearing customers say, what the hell is this, would be awful.”

 

Admittedly his experiences with food have tended to catastrophic.

 

“When my wife and I were students, she arranged a surprise picnic on the banks of the river Cam to celebrate my finals. We got in this boat, had some wine, and then she got off, and started setting up the picnic. The boat drifted away and I couldn’t row properly.

 

“She was left with this picnic for about three to four hours, until finally she swam across the river to get back to me. It was very nearly the end of our relationship.

 

“So even though I didn’t prepare any of that food, I still feel that’s a sign, that if you make too much effort with romantic meals, you’re probably asking for trouble.” 

 

Working with Marco, he wants to learn more bravado in the kitchen.

 

“If I walk away with one thing, I hope I can learn a bit of his fearlessness and almost arrogance. I’m already beginning to find out that chutzpah and bluffing is almost more important than cooking itself.

 

“You get through doing stand-up comedy by acting confident. If I can learn that same skill applied to cooking, I would be a better cook straight away.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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